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Sorry I left you all....   
01:09pm 29/11/2005
mood: giggly
It’s so unbelievably cold...and it snowed recently, that made me mildly happy.

Why the fucking fuck did I have to go to the dentist today. There's nothing wrong with the dentist...I just didn’t feel like going. I didn't go to sleep till around 3am last night. The my mom makes me get up at 7:02am, to wait around till 9:30 am, so we can get there at 9:45, for my 10:00 appointment, so they can make me wait for, what felt like, six hours. Bastards. All of them. I originally had a 2:30 appointment, but then they decided they should have a meeting of evil dentists, so my plan for today is ruined. Damn dentist. I'll kill them all.

Sunday I met up with some old friends and went shopping...they’re so awesome, I love um to pieces. Bought a new Fall Out Boy CD and Jake got me a kick ass, pretty, shiny, skull bracelet for x-mas (even though I don't celebrate, he has his nice moments) ...and I have five pages of Beyond Strange. It’s a movie I’m writing.

NEW NICKNAME~ Sunday I acquired a new nickname. I was in the mall, not feeling very happy; my fucking twat of a friend Jake had just laughed me at when I tripped and hurt my knee even more than it had been. (He got a new nick name that day too. He is now called beaver! In you face Beaver!) He was all "I laughed because I thought your expression was funny" and I was all "So my excruciating pain is funny to you is it?" he shut right the fuck up and Kelsey (who is a total ditz, but a fun/happy/nice one) just randomly said "Poison berry Finn! Can I call you that, it sounds really cute and dark at the same time?" (Hehehe… aww, she’s so cute…) so I said yeah, and that kind of cheered me up a bit (if you can’t tell I’m ok). We went to Barns and Noble, got some goodies and then it snowed and this was I --> :D

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Please Don't Go, Chapter Four   
11:42pm 11/11/2005
  I couldn’t forget anything I did with you.”


“What?” Gerard asked truly surprised.

“I couldn’t forget anything I did with you.” Frank said shrugging. He suddenly was becoming fascinated in his shoelaces. His face was turning a faint pink.

Gerard looked around the room.

“Why not?” Gerard said softly


“Why not?” he asked a little louder now.

Frank was tired. He was sad and cold and had been up the night before. He sprawled out on the couch.

“Because I love you Gerard Way. I Frank Iero am madly in love with you.” He said then took a deep breath. “I know you Gerard. I’m safe with you. You’re what keeps me breathing…”

Gerard was touched. Frank could be so very romantic at times. He put down his bags and walked over to the couch.


Gerard ran his hand through Frank’s dark and messy, hair.

“I love you too Frank….”

“Good.” Frank mumbled as he faded asleep on that couch. Gerard still sat there, running his hand the boy’s soft hair.


“But I can’t stay…” Gerard said crying. He knew Frank couldn’t hear him. He would wake up and Gerard would be gone. And he Frank would never now how Gerard had cried as he leaned over and kissed the sleeping boy’s forehead. He would never know that Gerard grabbed a photo of them from the mantle and put it into his bag…

And he’d never know that when Bert McCracken had come to pick Gerard up…They had kissed.

They left the house in silence.
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Please Don't Go, Chapter Three   
06:30pm 11/11/2005
  “Why don’t you ever say so? Why do I always feel like our relationship is one sided? Why can’t you tell me how you feel right now?”


“I don’t know how I feel right now.” Frank said not looking at Gerard.

Gerard tightened his grip on his bags, his knuckles started turning white. ‘I should have just left when I had the chance.’ He thought to himself.

“Well what do you want to do?” he said through gritted teeth. “Hit me? Kiss me? Eat some pizza? What?”


Frank sighed. “I want you to stay.”

Gerard glared at him from the doorway.

“Then why don’t you do something about it?”

Frank lifted his head.

“What?” he said looking genuinely lost.

Gerard brushed his hair out of his eyes. ‘Why couldn’t he just let me go?’ He thought. ‘I didn’t want to make a big deal out of this.’

“You just said. ‘Please don’t go.’ No, I’ll change. No, it’ll be different. Nothing. I can’t go back to the way we were, Frank. I want passion. With you we just go to a pub every night. When was the last time we went out to dinner, huh? A nice dinner. Just the two of us.”


“I thought so.”

“November 2. It was a Wednesday. We went to that little Japanese place downtown. You had the Kim-chi-gi. Extra spicy. And I had the beef and fried rice. We each had three beers and then came home and had sex on the couch.”

Gerard looked at Frank stunned. All of this was coming from the boy who could barely remember his own eye color.

“How do you remember that?”

“I couldn’t forget anything I did with you.”

Please Don't Go, Chapter Two   
11:58am 11/11/2005
  Please Don't Go, Chapter Two
- Title: Please Don't Go
- Author: [info]babyisdisturbed
- Pairing: Frank/Gerard
- Rating: PG
- Summary: The worst kind of break is one that should have never happend.
- POV: Third person
- Authors Note: Yes it's kinda short. I like cherry cordials. If I get some of those, you get more story.
- Dedications: To Kat. You love Frank...but I love him with Gerard.
- Disclaimer: Never happend. Never will.
- Other Chapters: Chapter one

“Please don’t go…”

Gerard stood in the doorway. He could just keep walking. He can just pretend he hadn’t heard Frank…Silence.

“Gerard?” Frank asked his voice shaking. ‘I can’t lose him God, please don’t let me lose him…’ he thought.

Gerard took a deep breath. Still not moving from the doorway. It was very cold outside. The snow was freshly fallen and undisturbed. If he left, his foot pints would be only the proof that he had been there. More silence.

“Yes Frank?”

Frank didn’t know what he wanted to say, but he knew he wanted it to be romantic. Something to prove to Gerard that he loved him.

“Did you hear me?” Frank asked weakly. It was not very romantic. His voice was so fragile, so small, so not the normal free of cares Frank. It made Gerard want to cry.

“Yes Frank.”

“Why aren’t you coming in?”

“I never left.”

It was true. Gerard didn’t leave the house. He just stood at the door. Letting all the heat leave the house. There was more silence. More heart breaking silence.

Gerard turned around.

“Do you love me?” he said the same as if he were six and asked how telephones were made.

Frank was quite.

“Do you?”

No answer.

Gerard pick up his bags again and turned to the door yet again. “It could have been different if you just said something Frank…why don’t you ever say anything?”

“I do…”


“I do love you. You didn’t need to ask. I know you know.” Frank said sitting down on the old and tattered couch.

Gerard sighed.

“Why don’t you ever say so? Why do I always feel like our relationship is one sided? Why can’t you tell me how you feel right now?”

Please Don't Go   
11:57am 11/11/2005
  Please Don't Go
- Title: Please Don't Go
- Author: [info]babyisdisturbed
- Pairing: Frank/Gerard
- Rating: PG
- Summary: If he took one step out that door he'd never come back.
- POV: Third person
- Authors Note: I wanted porn and I got this...something went very wrong.....
- Dedications: To my black sheep. For all the pie and late night talks.
- Disclaimer: I'd like to own them but I don't...

"I'm leaving," Gerard said abruptly. Frank looked up from the Christmas card he had been writing, creasing his brow in confusion. "What?" He asked, though he had heard Gerard perfectly.

"I'm leaving." The Gerard repeated. He waited for a while, watching to see what Frank's reaction would be. There was silence. "Did you hear me, Frank? I'm leaving you."

Frank rose from his chair slowly and stood for a few moments with his back to Gerard. The singer waited patiently, because he knew Frank would need some sort of explanation before he could go, and that much he deserved.

There was silence for the longest time and at one point Gerard even considered just walking out and sending Frank his explanation in writing when he'd found a place to settle.

Finally, though, Frank turned, eyes red but still unclouded and focused. "You're... leaving?" He asked in disbelief. "Why?"

"Don't do that, Frank. You know as well as I do that this was never going to work out."


"No. I don't want to hear it. There are no if's and but's here. We both knew this couldn't go on forever. It doesn't mean that I don't love you..."

Frank scoffed. "Fine way of showing it." He snapped. "Walking out on me on Christmas Eve! Really smooth, Gerard." He glared at the other boy for a while, and then kicked the leg of his chair angrily, sending it toppling over and crashing to the floor.


"I'm really sorry." Gerard whispered after a few moments. The silences were only making things worse. "I know this is a terrible time to do this, but it wasn't planned this way."

Frank didn't reply.

"Please talk to me."


Gerard sighed and picked up his bags. "I've got a room over at that B&B you said looked nice if you want to talk..." There was another pause and Gerard looked painfully at Frank's back. "I'll write." He finished and made his way to the door. His luggage was heavy and it seemed to get heavier with every step he took, but as he opened the door and felt the cold winter breeze against his cheeks he knew that this was the point of no return. If he took one step outside this door, he could never come back.

And Frank seemed to realize this too, because he had turned round now.



"Please don't go..."
10:30am 08/11/2005
  Today I have to...

Go to the market

Go to the mall

Go get an MRI scan for my knee

Go and update my stories on mychemicalslash

and leave right now.

bye babes
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10:39am 07/11/2005
  I have to wear a skirt. I'm not a skirt person... I acctually like the skirt. Damn. My momther won. *spins around in skirt* It's all fhoowshy.  
Look a Song!   
08:30pm 06/11/2005
  That Song About the Beach

Walking away from you is my greatest defense
and it's all I’ve got left when I’m full of regrets
let's count how many cavities you've made in my heart today
I think we're up to seven
yeah that was always your lucky number

call me when the tide calms down
and you're not begging for swimming lessons
cause I can't save you
no, I can't even save myself
spare me the details of your last few moments alive
just promise me I was the last thing that went through your mind

it's a concept that's so overrated
just like every apology that you wrote on dead leaves
I’m getting in over my head
and I can't remember anything you said
but your piercing stare broke my heart


Blame every hallway and every mirror for this
I never wanted to look at you again
I never wanted to look at me again
but if we're keeping score by scars
I’ve got you beat
but you took home the trophy

my hearts around your neck
slowly pulling you deeper under water
but just promise me that I was last thing that went through your mind


goodbye my love,
sleep sound tonight.
Well since I have a journal now.......   
07:25pm 06/11/2005
mood: full
I'll tell you about my day.

Mom:Alli, let's go to Olive Garden tonight.
Allison: OMG! I was just thinking about how I wanted Olive Garden! I neeeeeed the breadsticks!!!
Mom: Today we'll go, maybe we can take Kat.

From the moment I knew we were going to Olive Garden I knew that I must not eat a thing until we get there. I want to make sure my stomach is as empty as possible so I can fill it up with those scrrrrrrumptious breadsticks and savory salad.

Me: Hi! Table for 3 please, first available.
Host: That'll be about an hour and 30 to an hour and 45 minutes wait.
Me: ::blink blink::...ok, thanks. *walks outside* ...What the fuuuuuuuuuuck?!?!?! Almost 2 hours to waaaaaaaaaait!!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Kat: Get a hold of yourself Allison, it'll be ok! It'll be well worth the wait.

So we go on inside and have a seat in the waiting area. Kat and I are passing the time as best we know how in sucha situation...make fun or make some sort of comment about every person that passes.

Me: That girl over there sho is stacked in tha back!!!
Me: Holy Shit! That is a dyke and a half, too bad the guy she's with doesn't know it!
Me: That asian girl over there is very pretty.
Me: That man over there is the shortest man I've ever seen who isn't a midget or a dwarf!

I decide that I need to apply some chapstick to my parched lips and as I rumage through my bag to find it, my hand hits something. I immediately remember what it is and pull it out of my bag like it was the fuckin' heart of the ocean from Titanic...a York peppermint pattie. Kat and I both look at eachother like....YUMMMY FOOOODD!!! I open the wrapper to see that the chocolate looks a tad spotty (a lil too much time in the purse if you ask me). Then Kat says...Shit, I'll still eat it. Then I say...ME TOO! So we split it and savor it like it was the last food we'll ever ge to eat. LOL.

After and hour and 30 fucking minutes they call us. YIPPEEEEEEEE! We order our food quicker than you can say PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS and then we start chowing down on our breadsticks...heavenly, hot, drippy breadsticks. Oh, they were wonderful! I lean over to whisper these sweet sweet words into my Kathrine's ear..."This is the best fucking soda I've ever had in my life." I meant every word of it. The food arrives, Chicken Breast stuffed with smoked Italian cheeses with pasta and sauce on the side...to die for. Dessert...Berry Crostada...where have you been all my life? Your flaky crust...tantilizing. Your hot berries...titilating. Your vanilla ice cream topped with sweet sweet syrup...orgasmic. Ohhhh how sweet it is...It's something I'll always remember. And that ain't the only reason I'll fuckin' remember it!!! Right after we finished our dessert...

Kat: ::sniff sniff:: SOMEBODY FARTED!!!
Girl at table behind us: IT SMELLS LIKE ROTTEN EGGS!!!
Mom: OH MY GOD!!!
5 year old: Run away!!!

It was the most ungodly stench I've ever had my nose around. Yet, it smelled oddly familiar...Kat and I both guessed that it was one of those stink bombs that highschool kids drop in school to gross everyone out. Mom insisted that the stink bomb came out of someone's ass. Anyway, it ruined the whole shiznit, we didn't even have a chance to sit for two minutes while our food was settling in our bellies, we had to spring up from the table like jack rabbits to get away from the fumes....whatta waste. As we're leaving, naturally, I yell..."Kat!!! Why the hell did you fart like that?!?!" And naturally she charges at me like a bull. Eh, it was worth the laugh. lol. Despite the shit stank, it was a nice trip to the O.G. for dinner...hope to go again soon.
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